Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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