I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
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