you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
