singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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