She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
In other news, I just burned my penis
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
