Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
