Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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