We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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