i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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