We're like a lot better than the average bears
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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