so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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