could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
