I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
