Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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