When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
