This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
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