My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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