It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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