I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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