new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
