I heard we made out
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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