I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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