Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
