everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
