4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
