8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
can u get pink eye on your cock?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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