where does the pee come out of this thing
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Randomize
