When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
