The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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