just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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