He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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