you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
