when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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