Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
