i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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