is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize