Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
