Farmville is her only friend.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
