New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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