Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My dick has a subreddit
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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