Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
not ubering you a puppy
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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