meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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