Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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