i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
love makes seman taste better
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He felt like a one man threesome
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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