And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
