There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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