doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
