theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
