At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she told me i tasted like america
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
