if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
