We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
