Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
