you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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