I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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