Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
