This girl is more easily done than said...
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
