he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
