Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
