i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
