I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
