He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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