Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
