Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize