hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
