i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
