Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
