Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you didnt know i had herpes?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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