You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
