So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
