Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
