I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize