They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
