elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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