all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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