did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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