Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
