Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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