I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
