boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
