I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she peed on how many people?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
