So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
