am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
