$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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