HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
