If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
